It started in the 70’s. I met a school friend who invited me to go to the track. Soon, I was going 6 days a week. Each day I thought, today I’ll win big at the track — and by a lot. I can’t keep losing all the time, can I? I was completely hooked. Took out several bank loans, and when those dried up, and I could no longer afford betting on horses at the track, I moved on to bars where the slot machines welcomed me. I had no job. I continued to take loans from family and friends, used our rent money, and our grocery money... I gambled away everything, to the last penny. I had lost the ability to live a normal life. I was ruthless towards everyone who cared for me to that point.

Finally, I hit a wall: we were evicted from our home. I knew only one option remained… to turn to God.

My sister had been praying for me for years. She gave me the name of her pastor, who, upon meeting me, told me, ‘I can’t help you financially, nor can the church, but know someone who can help you and direct you to a new kind of life. His name is Jesus.’

The pastor prayed for me, and I experienced the forgiveness and grace of God. When I left, it felt like the birds were singing louder and more beautifully than before. Within a week, I realized that I had no desire to gamble anymore — I had been completely addicted to it. If there was anything on my nightstand before, it was race sheets and horse racing magazines. Now they were gone from my mind. I didn’t need to gamble anymore. I didn’t crave alcohol either—a Bible is on my nightstand now instead.

The hunger that once went into gambling turned into a hunger for reading the Bible from that moment on. I returned to work, and most importantly, back to my forgiving family. And the fact that I still have this ring on my finger, I know I am loved, and I can return my love as well.

My family, the church, and God’s grace — have brought me to where I am today.

—Markku Pantsar, former gambling addict